Gone but Not Forgotten

For both Audrey and me, our mothers have been showing up in unusual ways lately. “Showing up” may be overstating the situation. They haven’t exactly been making an appearance because sadly both died many years ago —more than 10 years ago in my mother-in-law’s case, and nearly five years ago in my mother’s. We remember them fondly still. In fact, Audrey reminded me this morning that today was her mother’s birthday. She would have been 104, which would have required a very large cake to celebrate properly. And a lot of breath to blow out the candles.

Audrey and her mom at her 90th birthday party

But we are not the only ones remembering Frances Katzenstein this week. A few days ago, we received the latest issue of the AARP newsletter in the mail. It came with a printed sticker attached, informing the recipient that her (or his) yearly membership payment was overdue and warning that this might be the last newsletter sent out until those dues were paid. It took me a few seconds to realize that the warning wasn’t for me (I am paid up as far as AARP goes), but for Frances Katzenstein, the seeming procrastinator, whose mail we had forwarded to our home soon after she died. The newsletter was followed up the next day with a “please renew your- membership” mailing to the same woman. I can’t be sure, but I suspect that my mother-in-law has been receiving those warnings and exhortations posthumously for many years without our taking notice. No one has sent a note to AARP to let them know just what is going on, and they haven’t made any effort to follow through on their threat to cut off her communications. Is there a statute of limitations on AARP dues delinquency, I wonder?

AARP is not the only ones communicating with the deceased in our family or facilitating communications with the deceased. For reasons that we don’t fully understand, starting a few weeks ago, when we receive a call from my brother and sister-in-law in Savannah, our caller ID robot says, “Call from Beatrice Goodman” while showing my brother’s phone number. What is Beatrice Goodman doing making calls using their phone number? And how is she doing it? And is the phone company planning to bill her? If so, I fear they will be no more successful than AARP in receiving payment.

My mom and me in Savannah six years ago

Neither of these wonderful women is a dead beat nor a ghost. They are simply deceased. I guess it’s nice to know that even though they are gone, they are not forgotten— neither by their children and grandchildren nor by assorted others who just don’t want to let go.